November update

October was a very busy month for me. School was in full swing and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle the load I had signed myself up for. Now that I’ve gotten through October though, I know I’m going to make it just fine. I have a lot of homework in one particular class. I can’t remember ever having this much homework for any class, EVER. It’s more work than my other three classes combined. Still, it’s my second favorite class. I just wish there wasn’t quite as much homework in there.  So far all my grades are excellent for the quarter, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay that way. Still, I’m like ¾ of the way through and I’m feeling pretty good about them all. I hope I’m right and they stay high because I really want to excel in my program.

We had Branch Conference also and that was a real treat. President Witt spoke about how we communicate with one another and mentioned that we should not hint around at what we want to say, but rather to be very plain in the message we want to get across so that there will be no mistaking it. I thought this was excellent advice. We have been trying to make this a point with Megan, who is a real hinter. Even worse, she expects us to read her mind and not tell us anything to begin with at times. Needless to say, this can cause some issues. We are hoping that soon she’ll get the idea. She’ll be 14 in January and will be good for her to figure it out sooner than later at this point since she is going through the turbulence of adolescence. She’s smart, so we are hoping she’ll get it soon. I suppose that’s the dream of most parents. J

We had the opportunity to go to the temple the day before Branch Conference. It was an emotional trip for me. The name I took through had Irene as a first name. Irene is my maternal grandmother’s name. This is highly significant for me at this time because just a few days prior to this trip, I found out that she is not doing well and they didn’t expect her to last much longer. The feelings I had as I went through the endowment session were very powerful and I couldn’t stop crying. It made me so sad to think of her leaving. Now I have to say that I hadn’t seen my grandma for close to 10 years because she has Alzheimer’s and I felt it did more harm than good to visit her. She is also my last living grandparent. Regardless, I was highly emotional. I can’t remember ever crying that much in the temple or really in public either. It was a very special experience however because I felt her presence strongly. I honestly thought she had passed away while I was in there. She hadn’t though.

Fast forward a week and a half roughly and we made a trip to Arizona because we thought she was going to pass away and wanted to be there for the funeral.  We left on Wednesday the 19^th and came back the day before Halloween, so it was a week and a half. We drove straight through both ways essentially though we did stop for a few hours to get rest when neither Andrew nor I could continue driving. It was so hard to do that. I don’t ever want to try it again. The drive itself wasn’t so bad, but next time we’ll take 2 days and get a room somewhere along the way. While we were there we visited lots of family including Andrew’s grandparents, most of our siblings and of course his parents and my mom. We also visited our old ward on Sunday the 23^rd and had a little time to visit with a few of them. We enjoyed the visit very much. We of course went and visited my grandma despite my feelings. I almost wish we hadn’t. She didn’t even look like herself so it was hard to be around her. She didn’t know who we were and hardly knew what she was saying nor what we were talking about. It was so sad to be there I couldn’t stay for long. She is still alive, but I know she isn’t going to last much longer because she doesn’t eat or drink enough to sustain life long-term at this point. I feel saddened to think that I’ll be losing my last grandparent soon, but I know because of the Gospel that she’s really just moving on with the next step.  I’m so grateful we had the chance to go home. I told Andrew we need to try going back just for fun next time. I’m crossing my fingers on that one.

Now I’m trying to get caught back up with school. I got a little behind, though not much really because I was working ahead. I think I’m just about to the point where I’m really just working ahead again. I have one more assignment to do and then I’ll be at that point.

This month I have reflected again and again on the talk by Elder Cook given in General Conference. It meant so much to me at the time I heard it and still does so I’m going to share some parting thoughts with you. As you can probably tell from my letters I was under quite a bit of stress when Conference came around and that didn’t really let up in October at all. The beginning part of the talk is a little story and it was just what I needed to hear. I need to remember to look up in faith. I need to remember to not focus only on what is happening right now and most importantly I need to remember to have faith in my Heavenly Father in all things.

I was grateful for the promptings I received to study faith in greater detail as well because on the way back from our trip Megan was asking some difficult questions about where we are at in life right now and I was able to answer them for her because I had been prompted (and obeyed) to study faith.

I’m so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the guidance I receive from General Conference every time we hear it. I’m so grateful that He hears my pleas and prayers and answers them. I’m grateful for the growth my trials bring and most importantly I’m grateful for His infinite love for me that He cares enough just for me to pay attention to even the smallest detail of my life. I’m grateful for the Savior and His atonement on my behalf and testify that He knows and loves you too. Talk to Him in prayer and He will hear and answer you.

October update

This month has been an interesting one for me. September flew by in some ways and drug by in others. I was definitely feeling ready to go back to school by the time my classes began on the 26^th, but now I’m not so sure about that anymore. I’m very busy with 15 credits in 10 weeks. After I met all four classes for the first time I felt like I was drowning when I heard everything I would be doing. I’m feeling slightly better now, but still overwhelmed. I’m wondering what I was thinking when I enrolled in that many credits and then I remember-oh yeah, I want to graduate sooner than later. Right now if I take only 12 credits until I’m finished, not counting this term of course, I’ll finish in four years from this December. That means Megan will graduate high school about six months after I graduate college. I’m hoping that I can live with that because I’m not sure I’m going to go over 12 credits again.

Beginning on September 7^th I started working in a kindergarten classroom with Marta Onofrio in Battle Creek. She teaches at Franklin Elementary. I was very excited to be back in a kindergarten classroom. I haven’t been in one since Megan moved onto 1^st grade. The first day was a ½ day and I was glad. I can’t remember ever getting that worn out in so short a time. Part of the problem was that it was the first day and many of the kids had obviously never been away from home. I got through it though and it got much better from there. Now I’m enjoying being there more than I enjoy going to my school classes and wish I could spend all my time there. I truly love being in kindergarten and I’ve loved learning from Marta. She teaches very much like I would so that part is going amazing. I only needed 20 hours in the classroom, but I love it so much I’m going to keep going anyway.

On the 10^th I went to some training in Lansing. All of the Relief Society, Young Women and Primary presidencies from five stakes were invited. We were trained by Sister Mary N. Cook, the 1^st counselor in the YW General Presidency. We had a great dinner and then we hurried over to Holt, MI for a fireside with the YW. It was fun and I learned a lot. We also got to hear from Elder Seldon before breaking into groups. He was very entertaining and I learned much from him as well.

We recorded and then watched some of the September 11^th special programming. I couldn’t believe how much I felt like it was happening all over again as I watched some of the footage. I was surprised at how I could feel the same emotions sweeping over me again. It was a sad day and one that I will never forget.

I finally watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I didn’t enjoy it all that much. I found it too dark, and too violent. I much prefer Narnia. I guess Tolkien was the one who coached C.S. Lewis to do the Narnia series. I think he did a much better job. I know a lot of people like it, but it wasn’t my style. Of course, I prefer children’s movies, so that might tell you a lot.

 Now that school has begun for me I’m quite busy again. I’m glad in a way because I was really starting to lose my focus on things in general and now I’ve definitely got it back, but I’m also so busy again that now I wish I weren’t so much. It’s funny how things always seem to be different than what we want. 

Still no job for Andrew, though he continues to search. He was on the verge of being hired by a company but then they put a hiring freeze into effect. I was floored to say the least. He is about 2/3 of the way through his welding class. When he finishes he plans to get a job welding somewhere, maybe Teneco. He seems to have a talent for it as the various instructors keep asking him if he has done it previously and they are amazed when he tells them he hasn’t. I hope that’s a good sign for when he is ready to get a job after he’s done with the program.

That just about sums it all up for me. I did enjoy both the Relief Society broadcast and General Conference very much and I hope you had the opportunity to watch or listen to it. I’m looking forward to being able to download and listen to it. First though I have decided to listen again to the discussions BYU did awhile back about the “Lectures on Faith”. I will read the lectures hopefully before each of the discussions. I’m in need of some extra faith right now. I love that series, I have listened to it many times now and I can’t seem to get enough of it.

I better go, it’s late in the afternoon for me and I have yet to begin my mounds (I’m not kidding) of homework. One last thing, next Tuesday Andrew and I celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe that it has been that long. In some ways it seems much shorter. In other ways it seems so much longer. Many things have happened to us over the years, but I’m thankful to say our marriage has always been a happy and secure one. I love him deeper than ever before and I can say that every day. I’m so thankful to Heavenly Father for the wonderful husband that I have. I’m also thankful to all of those who helped him to become who he is. Parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, you’ve all made an impact on him and I love you for your part in it.

So much for this month, I shall write again soon. I would have written sooner, but I’ve been so overwhelmed with other things that I just didn’t get it done.